if you can't take the heat, then you don't get any snacks.

so if you live in or around boston, you might be aware of the stupid heat wave we have had this past week. in addition i have been plagued, again, with tonsillitis. these are the two best reasons i can come up with for not baking anything and therefore not having anything interesting to write about in this silly blog of mine. i hope to be back in action next week, now that the weather has sorted itself out and there are july 4th bbqs to attend!

a few notes:

1. i had a cookie yesterday that looked like a disaster but tasted like a dream. it seemed to be a basic chocolate chip cookie base with dark and white chocolate chips, slivered almonds, and cranberries. mmmm.... to get your own go to true grounds in ball square, somerville.

2. i am currently in vermont, visiting my sister and although i have her beat out in the pie and cake department, the girl has a knack for cookies. i hope to pick up a thing or two from her while i'm here.

would you rather....

i recently helped my fellow pissah mourn the loss of her appendix by baking delicious peanut butter brownies. it got me to thinking.. which would your rather an appendix or a pan or brownies. lets see what feevs had to say in this indepth interview conducted by Cupcakes for Spite.

name: Harlot Fevah or affectionately known Feevs or Feevies Jeebies
relation to maimsey?: Teammate extraordinaire!
favorite color?: Pissah red.
do you want a pony?: I don't know if a pony is exactly what I want my fat, brownie-loving-ass to be riding around on. And I also don't want to attract any children's attention - because if I DID have a pony, you can bet your sweet ass I wouldn't share it with any stupid kids.
do you like to swim in lakes or bathtubs best?: While I do have childhood pictures of me swimming in my bathtub with orange swimmies and flippers -- I would have to say lakes. Amoebas are my friends.
and most importantly, which would you rather have brownies or an appendix?: If it meant getting another pan of delicious peanut-butter brownies from Maims, I would lose at least 6 to 7 more appendixes. It's definitely worth the pain!

you heard it here first kids, really live appendixless people prefer brownies to appendixes. yesssss!!!!

cake throwdowns are more fun when both people know...

so i forced myself to bake a cake this weekend. not only because i had six books to read for class this week or because i felt like someone ran me over with a truck. no no, i baked a cake this weekend because i had a birthday bbq to attend and well, because i had created a little birthday cake throwdown in my head.

i made one of my all time favorite cakes- strawberry with strawberry cream cheese frosting and neon radioactive sprinkles and hustled myself over to the bbq only five hours late (half past fashionable). when i arrived, i decided that it would be an asshole thing to show up at a bbq and declare it a "birthday cake throwdown", i mean, it's not exactly nice when bobby flay does it and that's on national tv. so i just brought the cake and it was eaten.

turns out lately i bake alot of cake that i never eat. i dont know why. maybe because i fill up on batter.

anyway! upward and onward to new adventures in baking. pie season is among us!

i used to be a cookie monster.

I'm on the left.
Here is what I like about this photo:
1. My cookie monster apron.
2. My haircut.
3. The fact that I still use that bowl if I bake at my parents house.
4. And of course, baking with my seester (pre-braces mind you).

9 eggs, 5 chocolate bars, and 1 dented pan

About a month ago my friend Jodie Faster said she needed to ask me a favor. I immediately responded, “What flavor”. I’ve finally come to the realization that in many circles I run in the word favor and cake are synonymous. I graciously agreed to make “the birthday cake” for the bbq she and her wife were hosting. Now to put things in perspective I think it is important to note that Faster’s wife was at one time a pastry chef and the thought of baking a cake for her party was terrifying. An honor, but terrifying.

I spent the next several weeks debating on what type of cake to make. Chocolate? Strawberry with cream cheese frosting? Lemon with buttercream frosting? When the final word of what the birthday girl’s favorite flavor was relayed to me, I knew I had just the thing.

Any of you who know me realize that I am the reigning queen of over commitment and poor planning. So of course I am baking this cake after skating 6 miles in the aids walk, and forty minutes before my friend came to pick me up. Unshowered. Of course.

I started with 9 eggs and separated them into two bowls. Then I melted a stick of butter and five 70% chocolate bars in a double boiler. I beat 2/3 cup of sugar into the egg yolks and poured the shiny chocolate buttery-ness into the mix. I beat the egg whites into submission with my kitchen aid until they were firm and well behaved. This is when things start to get confusing. I was supposed to combine the egg yolk, sugar, butter, chocolate mix with the egg whites. Chocolate is heavy. Egg whites are fluffy. I’m confused. So mixed it as best I could, stuck it in the oven and took a shower.

When I took it out of the oven it looked a little questionable. Wobbly at best and still steaming hot. Shattered showed up to pick me up, I wrapped the cake in a towel and headed to the bbq.

I arrived at the bbq, popped the cake out of my dented spring form pan and placed it on the table where it remained untouched for the whole time I was there. I gave it a glance now and then to see if the “2” and “5” candles had completely sunken into the chocolate quicksand that was my cake. I left the party worried it tasted like egg whites, NOT what I want my cakes to taste like.

Never fear, I will live to bake another day. The reviews came back saying that although it was slightly undercooked, it still tasted good. Phew. Another baking challenge complete.

This coming weekend I am invited to another birthday BBQ for which the evite named someone else as “baker extraordinaire”. Yeah, we’ll see about that. Also on my plate, what to bake for someone who doesn’t like sweets? Cheve pie that’s what!